Family

Family jokes

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.

Son (in a happy tone): I know.

Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?

Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.

As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.

I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because the iPhone X doesn't have a home button.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

During a phone call:

"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"

"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.