Family

Family jokes

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Mama

  • When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

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    Swear word

  • What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?

    In the U.K., it's a swear word.

    In America, it's a family reunion.

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  • Incest

  • A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

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  • Dad

  • Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

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    Orphan

  • So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

    Orphan

  • How to make an orphan BLEED?

    Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.

    Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.

    Step 3 - Tell them to kys.

    Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.

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    Orphanage

  • I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.