Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
Family Jokes
Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
