Family jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
Your dad's a cunt.
I made a website about orphans.
Sadly, it doesn't have a home page.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? 'Cause they can’t find home plate.
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
What school can’t orphans go to?
Home school.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?
The boomerang comes back.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.