Family jokes
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
Your mom is a mom!
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."
You and your mom.
Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
Why was the chicken black and the other were white? Adoption!
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
Cousins make dozens.
Closer kin, deeper in!
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"