Family jokes
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.
My mom is gay.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
Rhydon- son.
Rhydon? - mum.
RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.
Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.
XD
I sucked your mom's anus.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
Son: Hey, Dad, why is my name Dick?
Dad: Oh, because a dick fell on you when you were born.
Son: Ohhhhh, so that's why I'm gay.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
What did the mom say to the baby?