Family

Family jokes

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?

Sally.

When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"

Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.

One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."

What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home"?

Was your birthday?

Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

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