Family jokes
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Sans: haha... Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that's nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fat moms.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?
It was family friendly.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Why did the orphan cross the ride?
I forgot.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Who are you?
Oh, I'm an orphan!
Oh... bye! :/