Family

Family jokes

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.

Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?

Sally.

When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"

Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.