Family jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
It’s because they can’t find home plate.
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.
Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?
Richard: No, I couldn't.
Richard's mom: Why?
Richard: Because he was cute.
Mother: We need to talk about sex...
Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first?
Jack: Bad News first.
Mother: I'm dying!
Jack: Mother, I said bad news first.
Mother: *cries*
Jack was never seen again.
What's your favorite place that orphans can't go to?
Home.
Kid: "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
My dad just comes and goes.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't make it a home run.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.