Family

Family jokes

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?

Answer: YOUR DAD

Your mom is a transgender, your dad took a wrong turn just like his gender, your brother is just gay.

Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."