Family jokes
These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
Why can't an orphan play baseball or softball?
They can't find home. 🤣
If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
Who's the smallest wife??
Micro-wife.
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.
I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.
Why can't orphans go to field trips?
Parent Signature_________________
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
What do you say when you sister's annoying you?
Go oasis (go away sis)!
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.