Family jokes
What type of phones do orphans have?
IPhone XR—it has no home button.
Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can't find home!
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
Where do orphans go to get a happy meal?
Orph-Donald's.
Yo mama so stupid, she raised you.
"Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."
"No, not until their parents pick them up."
Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they actually have a father there.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because there is nobody to call "daddy."
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home. 😢
Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?
Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.
Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!
Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.
Gina: Do you know my sister's name?
Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.
Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"