Family jokes
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
Why does the orphan hate family jokes?
Cus it doesn't have one.
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
Your mama is so fat, you can't tell if she's pregnant or not.
At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
"Poo heads."
Knock knock. Who is there?
I don't know.
Hey guys, I'm back. I was grounded by my grandfather, so, yeah.
Why do orphans get an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What's an orphan's favorite website?
It has a homepage.
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."
This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"
Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.