Family jokes
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
A joker gives Batman a coupon for new parents. It's expired.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?
Candy is something everybody wants.
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.
Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.
Why can an orphan not have homework? They do not have a home.
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"
I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?