Family

Family jokes

Sister

  • One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."

    The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."

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  • Orphan

  • I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

    CEO

  • So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

    Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

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  • Dad

  • My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

    I told him my dad never came back with it.

    Orphan

  • Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

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  • Orphan

  • Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

    Orphan

  • How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

    Make them clap until their parents come back.

    Name

  • There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

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  • Orphan

  • How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

    Orphan

  • People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.