Family jokes
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
How do orphans have names because they don't have anyone to give them names?
Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?
Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.
I came on for an orphan joke.
Then I realized they are a joke.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
What do orphans get at Xmas?
Lonely.
What is the other word for an orphan?
Paren't.
How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
What is an orphan's least favorite game?
44 Homes.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because no one came back with any.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"
So that way they feel important.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't see home.
Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!