Family jokes
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One is always picked.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?
A phone has a home button.
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."