Family jokes
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
What do orphans get at Xmas?
Lonely.
What is the other word for an orphan?
Paren't.
How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
What is an orphan's least favorite game?
44 Homes.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because no one came back with any.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"
So that way they feel important.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't see home.
Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
Heh, stupid orphan.
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.