Family jokes
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?
“Will you raise me?”
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
Orphan, sorry.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!