Family jokes
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?
I love these orphan jokes. It's not like they're gonna go tell their parents. ☠
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
Why can't an orphan see their parents? Because there is mayo in his dick hole.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.