Family

Family jokes

What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)

It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

Why are orphans bad at basketball?

Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"

"No," replies the adopted kid.

"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.

If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.

Like if you dislike emos.

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.