Family jokes
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
What do you call 3 orphan girls in a tornado?
All of her twist.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.
Orphan: I'm hungry.
Dad: Let's go to KFC.
Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?
Hug his parents.
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.