Family jokes
I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
I saw a girl crying. I asked her where her parents were, and she started to cry even more.
Man, I love working in the orphanage.
An orphan boy at my school did really badly on a test and started crying. I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
He's got no home to run to.
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”