Family jokes
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
Your dad left for the milk because of your McDonald's hairline!
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
What does an orphan say a lot? "Where is my house?"
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.