Existence jokes
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.
Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
You should go soul searching. Maybe you'll find one.
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
I have no life, and I have no funny jokes.
You looking for jokes? I have one: your life.
Tell me a joke.
My life.
I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday.
Y'all wanna hear a joke? My life.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.