Existence jokes

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?

Who needs April Fool's when your life is a joke?

What's life if you don't have one...

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.

Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

If you're reading this, then your life means nothing...

Have a nice day! 🙂😊

His life.

What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?

For me, life.

What does a knife have but not my life...

A point.

How to not exist: Kys.

What do you call an orphan family? None existent.

If I die, does my depression die with me?

My sad ass life.

Why are people disappointments? Because you are reading this.

What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?

Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?

Me: Wanna hear a joke?

Person: Sure.

Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.

Person: Dear God...

Stephen Hawking said there is no god.

God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.

Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!

Person: WTF!