Existence jokes

Please don't kill [me].

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

My dick is longer than your life.

THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.

Want to hear a joke?

My life. Get it?

My horrible life.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh life?

What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?

A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.

U were accidental.

Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?

A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!

Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.

What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.

You know Sally? She's dead now.

Yourself.

Your life (ಥ ͜ʖಥ).

Never trust a Justin, he is made up of atoms that make up everything.

Your life.

you.

Wanna hear a joke?

My life.

We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.

We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.