Exercise jokes
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.
Why did the rapper go to the gym?
To work on his flex rhymes!
Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
Run, bestie, run!