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Funny

Neon Lights

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except Abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

Die

Anonymous

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Personal

Zack..k..k

Murder is the same as suicide except the other person is doing it for you

Funny

Anonymous

All jokes are funny with the correct delivery . Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.

Means

Logan Paul

“I’m sorry” and “I apologise” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

Depression

Sophia L.

Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression

Die

Sally

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left?

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he’s stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Dad

Morbid

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, “Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween.”

Kid

Anonymous

I came home from school One day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks so I did except I kicked him out him and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way

Puns

Anonymous

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant. Dirty bastards.

Puns

Punzar

Everything is made in China, except babies… they are made in Vachina.

Means

Anonymous

“I’m sorry” and “I apologise” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

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Puns

Anonymous

so I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer. Now I don’t know what they were laced with but I was trippin all day.

Common

Aden brister

what do a bike and a rubber duck have in common, they both have a handlebar except for the duck.

Funny

Brandon

anything can be funny with the right delivery except for abortion jokes cause there is no delivery

Means

Bushra

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

Puns

Gary S

Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?

Rip Van Tinkle

Means

Uncle Gary

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

Egg

Cannibal Chickens.

I fed some Chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.

Kid

Jokes

When I was young I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back. Except they didn’t get back up.

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