I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long
A family had a very disobedient dog. it would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."
So a girl says to her ex I can't get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we've the girl replies I see you in everything like when I'm walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...? Person: Addicted. You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted... *laughs* (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom
roses are red violents are blue everything is black i can't see can you.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
everything
Whats the difference between a five year old and and a Democrat.... The five year old doesnt expect you to do everything for them. (Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Sahapiro 2020)
Apex Legends: exist Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with its self) "Everything is fine."
Everything is made in China, except babies... they are made in Vachina.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
Rules of dark humor 1.Everything shall be touched. 2. If it offends someone it shall not be touched.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny
AN atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Dont trust the internet kids.
STOP SAYING NEGATIVE SHIT ABOUT DARK HUMOUR JOKES!! IF IT BUGS YOU THAT BAD THEN GO AWAY!! THAT'LL SOLVE EVERYTHING BUT WORLD HUNGER AND FAILED ABORTION
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
Bosses are like seagulls. They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
How did Stephen Hawking really die...his wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything
