A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The Helicopter Blade
It's funny that everyone is depressed like I mean Bullys are depressed Nerds are depressed Bad girls/boys are depressed Kind humans are depressed
This man walks into a bar and says... "how do i get service here." The assistant bar attendent tells him him to take a seat as the bar tender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes the man says this is ridiculous that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes goes buy and the man then says ok i get it no service of beer but free nuts to which the assistant says hell no the game starts in 10 minutes. Everyone laughs and claps.
Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband Harry? She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Henderson's
I love everyone
Everyone gangster till Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
I wish everyone spoke to eachother the way god did
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle Apollo says "if you eat that buffet everyone you love will die". Up yours the man said what are they going to die of famine. Moments later there was a incident that took place in the restaurant everyone literally died. it turn the restaurant had a B-. I said is that really a thing groaning on the hospital. The doctor said know that is your condition you hepatitis B-.
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus Dying also in laughter.
An unfortunate accident happend at the nestlè factory,a man nammed joe was seriously injourd because a box of choclates fell on him. Every time he said "The choclates are on me!" every one cheerid.
Thank you for reading if you use this on another catagory please give me credit by saying my name at the end. P.s my name is None of your buissnes. Seriously.
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green." "I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship." "You're very pretty for a Purple girl." "We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!" "Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people." "You 2-headed people are so stupid!" "No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes." "Get out of my store you grigger!" "The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: Happy birthday to you.., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear____, happy birthday to u Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!..
A teacher is doing an experiment, about taste. she tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. she gives Suzy a pineapple one, Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. that is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn, the teacher hands him a honey flavor one, Jhonny chews it for a while, then says, "Teacher, I don't know what it is.". the teacher tries to give him a hint and says "it's what you parents call each other when your alseep". immedietly the boy behind Jhonney screams "spit it out Jhonny it's an asshole!!!"
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
When your mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone good times
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me
An elderly was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip. "I will see her in one week" A week later he died
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone. But HAY! its in my jeans
