Evers jokes

What's only book rapeboat ever read? Rhyming dictionary, he got no rhymes without it.

Why don't rappers ever become chefs?

Because they can't stop droppin' the beet!

What's the funniest joke ever?

Rapboat thinking he can rap.

What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.

I got barred from Weight Watchers today.

It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.

What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?

Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.

The sir: My children will be devastated.

Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.

The sir: Whatever it takes.

*Suppressed gunshots*

Ever heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth.

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.

Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?

Because it wasn't born yesterday!

If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...

Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?

My life.

Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?

Neither has he.

Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.

So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?

Neither have they.

Why don't rappers ever play baseball?

Because they're too busy dropping hits!