Evers jokes
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Worst joke ever: me and my user.
Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Toothbrush: I think I have the worst job ever.
Toilet paper: Ya, right.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved. This was the worst joke ever.
The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?
IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."
Why don't rappers ever play baseball?
Because they're too busy dropping hits!
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the beat.
You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.
And together, we are pho-ever.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.