Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity then the SantaFe school shooting?
Cause Royal Weddings dont happen every week.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
What ended in 1999? 1998.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
