Epidemic jokes

What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?

Covid.

We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Social distancing.

Corona be like:

Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.

*snap*

"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."

True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.

There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok.

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.

Son (in a happy tone): I know.

Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?

Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.