Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Three drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
My boner had better structural support than the Twin Towers.
Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
I said to the fish, "I have dam."
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Q: What makes depressed kids jump?
A: Bridges.
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
787 bowing.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
