Education jokes

What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.

The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.

The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.

Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.

As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.

Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?

Cows go moo.

Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.

What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.

"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.

Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."

Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.

Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.

I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"

So I threw my dictionary at her.