Dying jokes
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because his ethernet cable disconnected.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.
Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.