Dying jokes
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
Aj died in a bar.
The end.
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.
Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE