Dying jokes
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because his ethernet cable disconnected.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
Did you know Stephen Hawking died in a game? The game was Happy Wheels.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”