Dying jokes
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far from the wall. The cord unplugged.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
Stephen Hawking died because he got unplugged from his Ethernet cord.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost a water gun fight.