Driver

Driver jokes

Name

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

Travis Spick-le.

Pecker

Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.

Difference

What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?

One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.

Guy

Three drunk guys entered a taxi.

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

Woman

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.

Memes

Boyfriend

I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.

Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.

Bus Driver

I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.

Bus Driver

You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.

Who's the bus driver?

You will never nose [know].

Police Officer

Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?

A. A police officer.

Misfortune

UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!

Fuel

When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.