Dose jokes
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
What game does an emo hate the most?
Life!
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
To cover his butt-quack.
Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have mothers' and Father’s Day.
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.