fish y u no fly. i dont like being caught naked
I remember having a crush on my math teacher so i winked at her and said "dont worry babe, ill callculater."
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
what is the difference between a egg and you . an egg gets laid and u dont .
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
When your sister asks you to entertain her, you don't!
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol
Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
The streets go blank in the dead of the day not a car to be seen A kingdom of corona-cation and it looks like moms the queen The wind is howling with this virus in the air Couldn't keep it in china everyone knows it's everywhere Don't let friends in don't be afraid Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal don't feel your insanity That the virus caused!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors! I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friends house Sickness doesn't get to me anyway. It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane And the fears that once controlled me are here and present oh well! It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through! No right no wrong but stay inside! WERE NOT FREEEE!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! Cause I have nothing better to do The virus flurries through the air into my house! The storm is spiraling fear and fractals all around!! And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!! What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past???? DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT CAUSE THATS WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.
Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
Why dont Orphans play baseball. They dont know where home is.
They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home to do it at.
