DOE jokes
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
What does my dad have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
What game does an emo hate the most?
Life!
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
Why does the Sun go to school?
To get brighter!
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"