DOE jokes
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
If a skinny person wants to gain weight, does that make them a trans fat?
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Pokémon
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
What does "Keo" stand for?
Kick Elmo more.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb? The answer may shock you!
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.