DOE jokes
What does my dad have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
What game does an emo hate the most?
Life!
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
Why does the Sun go to school?
To get brighter!
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
What food does a Cheetah eat?
Cheetos!
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"