DOE jokes
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he canβt do stand up.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
Memes
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
What does the Bible stand for?
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
Why does a penis taste like octopus π?
Stupid question π π even the catholic church βͺ π knows that one.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.