DOE jokes
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What does a cow say? Moo.
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
How does a rapper pay for his groceries?
With a SICK FLOW of cash!
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
What does an orphan say a lot? "Where is my house?"