DOE jokes
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
Memes
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.