DOE jokes
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Memes
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
🤔 What does BLM stand for? Blacks Love Masturbation 💘 💘 💘 💘 ☺ 😀 👍 👍
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.