DOE jokes
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
What does William say when he hurts his toe?
"I wanna scream and shout and let it all out."
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
What does "the whole pile of poops" mean?
"The whole pile of shits."
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.