DOE jokes
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi.
Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.
Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.
Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
How many blacks does it take to start a riot?
-1.
What is a tree that does not exist?
A money tree.
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
I made a website for orphans.
It does not have a home page.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.