DOE jokes
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.
"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
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How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
How does a tree get online? They log in.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.