DOE jokes

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How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

35! Do you have a problem with that?

Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?

Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.

Hi, I'm new here and I'm 11. I'm just bored and want a girlfriend.

Does anyone have Snapchat or Twitter? I can show you what I look like ;)

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?

Once they're gone, they never come back.

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.

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    • How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?

    Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

    What does a kite and a criminal have in common?

    They both get high.

    A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"

    He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.

    The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."

    Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

    What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"