Disney jokes
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
Yo mamma is so dumb, she will watch Disney Junior all night long.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Why is Goofy named Goofy? Because he is goofy!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
Q: What is the best Disney character?
A: Toe Mater.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.