Disaster jokes
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
Q. Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
A. Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they only got plane.
I would make a joke about 9/11, but my career would crash and burn.
Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
The 9/11 suicide jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds. Sorry.
I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
It has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
The Twin Towers ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.
What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.
Titanic hit a dimetrodon.
What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.
Why is America so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.
Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.
Article 4: the Titanic sank.