Disability jokes
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!