Dis jokes
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
Memes
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
My auntโs star sign is Cancer, so itโs pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Penis gay be like: among sussy, ding ding ding ding ding ding di di ding.
Imposter is SuS!?
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didnโt ask about the other one!"
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
Whatโs the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.