Dis jokes

The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.

What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far from the wall. The cord unplugged.

Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?

The Apple repair store.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not, he got nailed before he died!

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

Me: Knock knock.

My Grandma: Who’s there?

Me: Interrupting cow.

My Grandma: Interrupting c-

[Dies from heart attack]

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

Hitler was the most handsome man alive.

Everyone died for him.

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.

Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!

What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?

A black alien.

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"