Dis jokes
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
I get jealous when my phone dies.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Memes
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
What happened when the man died? Yes.
My grief counselor died.
He was so good, I don’t even care! 😂😂😂
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.