Dis jokes
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
Memes
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
Someone dies.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
My grief counselor died.
He was so good, I don’t even care! 😂😂😂
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
What happened when the man died? Yes.