What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
Yo momma's so stupid, she took a shower for 20 minutes after she heard a DIRTY JOKE!
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A man will actually look for the golf ball.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!